"The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world, or a relationship... Everything has its time. And everything ends."
I have no energy left. When I wake up I still feel tired, so very tired. The grey dark walls close in on me. There is no rest here, at least no real rest. All we have is our hope to one day be free. To one day earn some kind of freedom from the horrors of the Grand Arena. While my mind is fighting my aching body, forcing it to get up from my bed, I suddenly hear them, the cheering crowd. Calling out for the next bloody sacrifice to be thrown out into the Arena. They are never satisfied, I know. I have walked out there countless times. I always return here, but I am not sure that makes me a winner.
I look at my reflection in the water from the cup next to my bed and I feel a sadness when I realize that I look just as tired as I feel. I cannot go out there again. I know I will not make it back alive. I do not have the strength, nor the will.
I can clearly hear that the crowd is now calling and chanting my name. There is no way to avoid this. No exit, but the one leading to the Arena. How can I go out there, knowing the challenges and horrors that await. For the crowd it is all good fun, but for me... it is my life. And it is such a tired life.
I shower quick and pull on my clothes. The sound is almost deafening. "Why?" That is what the voice inside my head carefully whispers. "Why even try?" The voice is right, I have no strength for this. It will only be an humiliation. Perhaps it is better to remain here, and be punished quietly for not entering of my own free will. But the crowd chants my name and the Grand Arena demands its sacrifice. The pull of it all is almost beyond imagination. I have to go out there. I don't want to. I want to stay here, where I can feel some measure of safety. But no.
I put on my coat. Tie my shoes. I walk out the front door from my apartment house. Life. The World. The Grand Arena.
Tears roll down my cheeks...
The crowd cheers!!!
