"A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will have no roses."I reach out to you, and I close my eyes.
A moment passes, and in my mind I feel how a moment without you feels. I feel lonely, like only the constant, passionate touch of you could make me feel whole. And without it I am empty, alone and utterly without meaning.
In my mind a minute pass, and with it the feeling of falling into an abyss. Even a short time span like this feels impossibly long and not unlike torture when I do not see or feel you. How cruel life can be, how strong the human emotions can grow and how like the love of the Immortals themselves the love of two soulbound being can strengthen and root itself.
An hour apart, it seems almost impossible in my mind, but I know the feeling. An hour without you takes my breath away in a deep sigh of despair, but it is all too familiar. How one wishes the other always could be there, but such is not life. How utterly meaningless every task feels when the soulmate is not there to share the instant. Life together is life soaring high above all life's troubles and hindrances but apart every obstacle feels insurmountable.
A day? I feel my heart tighten and hurt. A day without you? The thought makes my body shudder and cringe. These things happen. Even the most loving couple has to part for a day or more every now and then. Such are the paths of destiny, and even though time apart truly makes the heart grow fonder, well, it is not a method anyone who truly loved someone would recommend. No, a day or a few apart and the breathing grows harder, that is what any person who has truly been in love will tell you. Such is love, and without you by my side, it feels like I cannot breathe.
When I could not see you for a month, I was lost. I will be honest. There is much I do not even recall. It was like truly living in a nightmare. Truly. So much I cannot even recall. How did I get here? What should I do? Eating felt meaningless, sleep was without vigor. It was like living in an abyss of longing and despair. My life is with you, how can I have joy without you? How can life have colour and meaning when you are not here enjoying it with me?
A year went past. So they told me. It could have been a moment of eternal darkness; it could have been an age by itself, the age of gloom and disheartedness. When you live in sorrow, how can anything but pain have meaning?
I keep my eyes closed just a moment longer. Just a moment, because even though the moments are agonizing it is easier when you take it moment by moment. Maybe I can feel some relief between the ticks of time.
And when I open my eyes and remove my hand from your grave, you are still dead and I am still alone...
